After a person finds out that their spouse or partner is cheating on them, the question that pops up the most would be whether or not you should take them back. It’s a very personal decision, and you should talk with someone you trust before you take any action.
You need to take care of many things; first of all, you need to be sure about your partner’s infidelity. If this is all in your head, then you can ruin the relationship with your better half.
However, once you have made up your mind, then comes the hardest part of letting go. Read this guide to know more.
Understand more about equitable distribution in divorce on The Sanders Firm, P.A.’s blog: https://www.orlandodivorcelawyers.net/equitable-distribution-divorce/
How do you make sure that your partner is cheating on you?
A brief list of things and behaviors that can help you to confirm your doubts, once and for all:
- Check their phones for unknown contacts.
- Suspicious social media activity.
- You can also get into the Gmail account of your partner.
- Changes in their sexual urges.
- Too many business trips.
- Unaccounted expenditure.
- There is a huge communication gap.
How do you cope?
First and foremost, let’s be clear that it’s not going to be easy, but you must do it the right way. People have their way of coping with their problems; some like to have a bit of company while others like to retreat in their solitude.
Here are a few tips that you can follow to get a better grip on your current situation:
● Acceptance is the key ingredient
There is no point in dwelling on the past. There could be times where you would just want to run away and start afresh, but how long can you escape your demons?
● Don’t let that part of your life affect your future relationships
It’s not just you; anyone would have a difficult time trusting another human being after this incident. However, you have to keep in mind that there are good people out there as well, and you will find someone who will deserve your love. In addition to that, they will also love and cherish you the same way. Maybe you can try to be more vigilant next time but don’t stop trusting people altogether.
● Ask for help
You are not alone in this fight. You can get professional help if things start to affect your day-to-day life. A mental health practitioner can help you to deal with your emotions healthily. Moreover, you can join a support group where you can listen to other’s stories, and you’ll realize that people can understand what you’re going through. This can ease your pain to a certain level.
● Getting stuck on revenge won’t do you any good
You might want to inflict the same amount of pain on your partner that they did to you so that they could feel what they did and how that made you feel. However, you can simply use your words for that same thing. Now, it might feel that it won’t affect them with the same intensity, but it might do the trick. Moreover, it’s a slippery slope that you don’t want to go down.
● Take time to focus on yourself
At this time, you must identify your emotions, understand them and find a way to express them without feeling any kind of pressure or guilt. On that note, you have to abstain from making any kind of rash decisions. For instance, jumping into another relationship when you haven’t fully accepted and processed your previous one. It won’t be fair for anyone.
● Take a social media cleanse
Instead of checking the social media profile of your partner and that of the person they cheated you on with, focus on building your new life now. Since you have so much to do now, it could be a good idea to uninstall all the social media apps from your phone for the time being. You can come back once you feel that you’ve finally moved on.
● Don’t hide anything from your children
In case you have children, you should talk to them about the whole situation. Sometimes, you won’t realize that kids are affected the most in these situations. If they’re at an age where they could understand you, you should let them know why this is happening and what’s to come next. Especially the divorce and custody cases, things are bound to get messy, emotional, and frustrating. Let your kids express themselves. Try to listen and understand them.
● It’s not your fault
Many people also fell into the trap of self-blaming and self-sabotaging. “Maybe he wouldn’t have done that if I was thinner and prettier” — no, it doesn’t work like that. This negative thinking will only bring you more pain and suffering. Get out of this vicious cycle and live a little. If something is still bothering you and you want to get it off your chest, then you can try to communicate with your partner in a civilized manner without blaming anyone.